Hello again world, I’m so happy you are continuing your journey with me by still reading this. Today’s topic is about support, specifically the support that a friend or family member can provide to someone going through something concerning their health. Secondly, I want to write about the support you can be to someone who has a loved one going through a difficult health battle. I believe that the world likes to throw a lot of hell at us, it is not fair being honest, but life is too hard to go through it alone, so we all need to find support. A majority of the problems that are thrown at us are those concerning our health because that is something we always think we can have. So thank you again for reading all of this, and I hope the following can help you or someone you know.
To start off, I can speak personally on the support given to me through my battle, and I just want to say it was amazing and it blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. I just want to highlight some do and don’ts for being a support of someone going through some health issues, at least from my perspective.
- Treat them normally- There is NOTHING worse than being looked at like a charity case. Personally, going through a cancer battle I witnessed this a whole lot. People looked at me like I was already dead and they didn’t know how to talk to me. I’m still me. I still love to talk to everyone, and I still want to laugh. Treat me like I am the same.
- Love them- Seek what they want and how they receive love. If they want you to just come over and watch a movie, do it. If they want you to bring over nachos, bring over nachos. *Side note I am always down for nachos.* I could go on and one but you get the picture. Find what makes them feel invested in and put your time into that. It’s basic rules of friendship. My best friend, Brad, made me feel like a priority when I had my liver transplant because he came up to the hospital as soon as they would allow him to see me. Although I was in no condition to be my normal self he came and sat next to me while I was drifting in and out of consciousness watching March Madness with me. Find yourself a Brad.
- Don’t Stare- I REPEAT DO NOT STARE!!!! As someone dealing with a sickness that it hurting their body and possibly spirit, the worst thing you can do is stare like they are some sort of mutant. I remember there were times when I was weighing 60 pounds less than my normal weight and I looked like a skeleton and people would just look at me like I was an alien and it would break down my spirit because I felt awful already now add being humiliated in public, it made it worse.
- Don’t ignore what is happening- It’s easy to ignore it and totally gloss over what is happening to your loved one’s body through the attack of sickness and disease. But don’t ignore it. Treat them like a friend. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about whatever is going on, don’t ignore them because you don’t know what to say and you might offend them. Just talk and they should be mature enough to tell you when things go too far.
Now if you are a person and you have a loved one going through sickness and disease I want to address you next. It is tough, I know. I went through it with my grandpa when he got diagnosed with terminal cancer and I’ve seen my loved ones go through it when I got sick. I want to help you grow through it instead of just going through it.
- Remember to laugh. Look up corny jokes, stupid pick up lines, or even just watch hours of youtube videos that fills your tank. Laughter is the best medicine for your spirit. It will get hard seeing your loved one go through hell. I’m not going to sugar coat it, it is terrifying to go through because you never know the outcome of a battle, but remember to take time to laugh; laugh with your friends, family members, or even the person going through the battle. It means a lot to you because you are spending time together and it means a lot to the person dealing with it because it shows you are invested in them.
- Don’t fix your mind on it, but also don’t forget the battle. I guess the common thread of this is that you need to really focus on the spirit of the person and yourself. Make sure you are taken care of. You can’t get anywhere in life if all you focus on is the bad things that are happening to you, and that’s the same principle as dealing with health. If all you focus on is the backslides and the negative aspects of the disease you will truly not do anything with your life. Remember it is their battle and they have to fight to win, so pray for them, love them and show your support for them but don’t drain yourself out.
- Lastly, surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you. See during a battle everyone comes through because they think it is their “duty” to ask how you are doing, but seek those who come to your house at 11:30 at night with ice cream and a good romantic comedy to watch with you because they love you. Find people who feel sorry with you and not feel sorry for you. There is a difference, being with someone means that you take on their burdens, their concerns and their heart. It’s like the analogy of being a Detroit Lions fan. These fans are some of the most loyal fans out there, the Lions fans are truly with the their team through thick and thin, compared to some fair weathered fans out there. Find you a Lions fan type of friend. If you see a friend going through a tough time and not knowing how to handle a situation invest, invest and invest!! One of my best friends, Zack, would come over and we would just sit on the futon of my apartment and we watch “The Office” together just because we were together. Find those people that will jam out to Beyonce or Bruno Mars with you and keep them around because those are the ones that will come to you when you need their love and support the most.
I hope this helped someone out there understand the other side of the battle. Remember a health battle isn’t just about one person, it is about everyone affected, both physically and spiritually. Disease likes to come at the spirit of the loved ones and the body of the patient, the real way to win is to stay positive and not let it rule your life. Know it can be beat by the way you live your life and the way you look at the circumstance. That goes both ways.
John 16:33- “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the World you will have tribulation;but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world”- Jesus